For My Daughter

Photo by Penny Matthews

I have two daughters, each of them is so different from the other, but they are both special gifts to me. It is with a heavy heart that I write today of my oldest and the internal pain she is under. Her pain comes out as rage, anger, hateful words and condescending remarks made towards all of us in our home. She has cut herself off from so many and wonders often why she feels so alone. She is in a vicious cycle of anger and sadness and refuses all attempts of help. In the past few years I have made every attempt to mend fences, heal wounds that I did not put there and try to be a peacekeeper. It was all pointless and upon reflection probably made things worse. 

While my heart is still heavy, I know now that she has to remain in God's hands and that only He can "fix" this situation. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." That is what I am attempting to do now through prayer and conversations when they arise. I pray for her always and lift her up. 

She came out of her room today, swearing and berating her sister about the ice tray and then me about her father. I told her today that God has to work on changing peoples hearts in order for them to change their behavior.  In fact, she does not see her own behavior and words and how they are just as hurtful as what she is accusing others of doing. If your heart is hardened to love, compassion, kindness and to all that Jesus has taught, then it is impossible to see those things happening consistently in a person. Of course people can show those things, but until they are willing to make heart based changes, confess sin and ask for forgiveness and wisdom to make things right often they will continue to easily make the same mistakes.

My Prayer for my Daughter:

Lord, I lift her up to you, I dedicate her to you and pray for her salvation. I pray that you work on her heart and lead her to you. I pray that she will come to see the love, peace and grace that you gave to us so in return she can give that to others. I love her and thank you that you entrusted her to me. I know I have not done what you require when raising her, but that through my own conviction and asking for forgiveness, you are teaching me now what is right. For that I am ever grateful. Take her Lord, comfort her, bring her close to you. It is in Jesus' name that I pray these things. Amen!

My Prayer for my Household:

"Then he brought them out and asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household." Acts 16:30-31